im gay
i know
yea but for you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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