they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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