Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
