I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
