im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
