we're blogging at a bar
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize