Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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