And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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