I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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