Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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