haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
