So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
