someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
