Screwed.edu
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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