Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
