Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
