She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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