I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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