No, you can still breathe under the balls.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
