why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
