Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
