I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
