i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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