brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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