my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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