i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i out mim tonsoeep
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