your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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