I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I smell stomach acid.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
