Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
