Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize