This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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