Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
North Korea, Best Korea!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
