My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
high people should be assigned attendants
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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