dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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