just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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