i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
