Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
