Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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