what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
