Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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