So drunk its hurt
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
