i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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