I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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