Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
