everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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