Where is the hickey?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
