The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
