Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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