out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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