Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
