He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my shit smells like andre
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
