I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
