I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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