Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
