Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
