You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
