..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
