the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Drunk is not a location!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
