Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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