She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
